I have struggled falling asleep quite a bit in my life. Luckily when I have actually fallen asleep I remain sleeping the rest of the night. But the act of jumping into the world of dreams has often been an issue for me.
And this sucks. Especially for a person like me that’s neurotic and values the importance of sleep. It becomes a vicious circle, the longer I can't fall asleep the angrier I get at myself for depriving myself from sleep.
For me my thoughts are usually the problem, they just don’t stop appearing at full speed. But sometimes, even if my mind is calm I just can’t get myself to doze off.
But it has gotten better for me as I’ve learned more and worked on my habits. I’ve read about the mechanics of my body and applied the tips and tricks that have been proven to work. And this I would like to share with you all.
So below I list the 14 best tips for falling as sleep. All of them but five (tip 9 - 14) come recommended by Matthew Walker, scientist and professor of neuroscience and psychology at the University of California, Berkeley in his book Why We Sleep. I present them here, spiced with my own experience, thoughts and perspective. Tip 9 - 14 are stuff that I’ve picked up on and have worked for me. Number 14 is just me reflecting on what steps I’ve taken to improve my mental health which correlated with my ability to fall asleep.
1. Routines
Tip number one is the most important one. Actually, this article could end efter tip one because it is the absolute best tool you have for falling asleep. And it’s also the most boring one because this is not a quick fix. It takes effort. You have to aim to fall asleep and wake up at the same time every day, even on the weekends. The body needs routines and will respond and program itself to them. The routine I have is falling asleep at 11 and waking up at 07. And if I just take this seriously for 10 days I tend to fall asleep much faster. This one is hard for me because I love going out to socialize and staying up late to watch movies. I usually give myself one night off every week in which I can stay up and sleep in. For me this doesn’t necessarily throw off my sleep routine.
2. Coffee and Nicotine
Cut back on your coffee or at least drink the last cup as early as possible, preferably before 14 (2 pm). Coffee remains in the body for over 12 hours. If you drink a coffee cup at noon, 25% of the caffeine remains in the body at midnight. If you smoke, try not to smoke in the evening. Nicotine is a stimulant that affects your sleep negatively.
3. Dump the screen
30 minutes to 1 hour before bedtime, dump the screen. Drop everything you are doing which includes Email, Whatsapp, Messenger, Imessage, Snapchat, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Youtube, Pornhub, Candy Crush, Reddit, online gambling and everything else. Try reading the book you've been thinking about for a while or maybe meditate. You can even watch TV because that light is not as bad as the screens. Blue light filters are an alternative, but it's not just about minimizing bad light from screens, but also protecting your mind from stressful thoughts and activities.
4. Darkness
We are evolutionarily evolved to sleep at night, when it is dark. Darkness helps to produce melatonin which is a hormone that helps us regulate our sleep cycle. An hour before bedtime, dim the light in your home and get your body ready for sleep.
5. Temperature
Cool down the bedroom. We sleep much better in colder environments. When you sleep, your body temperature drops and a cold room helps you with this process.
6. Warm drink
Drink a cup of tea (without caffeine) or hot water. A warm drink lowers your body temperature (sounds contradictory) which prepares the body for sleep.
7. Take a hot bath
A warm bath (even though it also sounds contradictory) lowers the temperature of your body which can help you fall asleep.
8. Meditation
Meditating in the evening helps me in three different ways. 1 -The meditation itself calms me down in the evening. 2 - I expose my body to darkness by closing my eyes. 3 - It calms my thoughts. When I meditate I use an app but I also use the techniques as I am lying in bed trying to fall asleep. For me it is often the thoughts that get me energized. So when I am aware of my senses, the feel of my body against the bed, the small sounds surrounding me and the energy in my body it gets me away from the thoughts. And ofcourse when I start thinking I try to catch myself and get back to my senses. This calms me down and usually gets me to sleep faster.
9. Don’t stay in bed if you can’t fall asleep.
If you can’t fall asleep, don’t lay in bed too long. This can create anxiety and frustration and get you into a vicious circle. Instead get up and do something that won’t wind you up. Here reading fiction is a good option. No screen time though.
10. Read fiction
Reading is a good way for some people to fall asleep. But the pro tip is to read fiction. Why? Because it tends not to get you emotionally riled up. For example if I read a book that’s about a social issue or some controversial subject, my mind starts spinning a thousand miles a second and this becomes an obstacle that stands in the way of my sleep.
11. Listen to something that distracts you
Thoughts can be troublesome for many who want to sleep. They spin around in your head and there is no order. Meditation is a long-term approach to training the brain to have a better relationship to the mind and your thoughts. But meditation takes a long time and a lot of training. An easier way is to listen to something in order to distract your mind and focus your thoughts on something else. It can be a pod, radio or similar. One tip I have is the pod “Sleep with me” created by Drew Ackerman aka Scooter. Scooter has the hilarious ability to create a pod that is interesting enough to listen to, but at the same time it is so bland that you do not get caught up in it too much. Some do not like his voice while many others appreciate it. The whole purpose of the pod is to help people fall asleep.
12. Hypnotization
This is something that I have not really tried for real, only a little. But hypnotization is supposed to be a good tool to help yourself fall asleep. It is explained in the first part of this very interesting episode of the The Tim Ferriss Show with guests Safi Bahcall. In short you should focus your thoughts and attention on an object in your head, for example a chair. Then get interested in this chair that you see in your imagination. What is it made of? How does it look? How does it feel? Etc etc. This can get you into a hypnotic state which enables you to fall asleep.
13. Adjust your day according to your routines
A lot of people feel like they’re programmed to be either night or morning person. To a certain extent I can relate to that. I have a hard time falling asleep in the evening but I can sleep forever in the morning. There are people who just can’t fall asleep before midnight and have to set the alarm to 6 to make it to work on time. Maybe a solution is to modify your day according to your internal clock. Talk to your boss to see if you can come in a little bit later and subsequently work later.
14. Improve your mental health and happiness
This may come across as stating the obvious but I’ll share my thoughts anyway. Lack of sleep is for many just a symptom of the real problem. It could be stress, depression, anxiety etc. If you feel like you are not content with your life for whatever reason, the first step is to get in touch with a psychologist. Other than that I will present the tips I’ve applied to my life to become more happy. And the happier I get, the better I sleep. And what guides me? The one thing that I always follow to get closer to the truth, science. And there is something called the science of happiness.
Happiness is discussed by Laurie Renee Santos, cognitive scientist and Professor of Psychology at Yale University in this podcast. According to the science of happiness there are some factors that are ranked as the most important. In other words the people who are the most happy in this world have the following factors in their life.
- Strong social connection and relationships.
- For me this is how much you can be your true self with other people. Trusting and being trusted by other people. Being interdependent with other people. Feel love towards other people and receive love from other people. Being part of a community and having an important role in this community
- Being other oriented
- The more you give and the more kind you are, the happier you will become.
- Healthy habits, most importantly exercise, nutrition and sleep
- Being present and mindful. Enjoying each present moment instead of being stuck in the past, feeling regret or worrying about the future.
- This can be achieved and practiced in different ways. For a lot of people it’s meditation.
So if you believe in science and you want to improve the quality of your life, the areas which you should improve are presented above.
Final Words
Before we end I just want to say my personal thoughts on change and self improvement. It takes time, effort and work to change something to the better in your life. Nothing gets better by wishful thinking or complaining. You have to do the work, and then eventually someday it will get better and that is truly wonderful.
So pick up the phone and tell somebody you love them, help a stranger out, exercise, eat well and of course get a good night's sleep!
